Have you ever had your friends say something like “but he can’t handle me” or “I want someone who can handle me!” in regards to the boys out there that seem intimidated? The ones that make side eyes at you, g-chat you all day long at work, somehow get your number but just randomly text you things like “The-Dream is my high school in one artist” after they see your feed on Spotify? My group of girls always seem to come back to this notion that we are too much for modern men to handle. That we don’t get asked out or pursued. Especially by the ones we want.

Lately, though, my argument has been¬†But why do I want someone that says they “handle” me?¬†My father doesn’t “handle” my mother. Big Sexy doesn’t “handle” my bff. Mr. Darcy didn’t handle Elizabeth! They love these women!

Every time I make this argument I sing Beggin For Thread by Banks.

So I got edges that scratch
And sometimes I don’t got a filter
But I’m so tired of eating
All of my misspoken words
I know my disposition gets confusing
My disproportionate reactions fuse with my eager state
That’s why you wanna come out and play with me

I don’t want to beg for thread. I don’t want to be someone’s second or third option. I don’t think that someone should have to think for 3 months about whether or not they want to ask me on a date. If you are intrigued, ask. If I’m beautiful and witty, ask. If you are a little scared, ask. If you can’t see my worth enough to have 30 seconds of courage, don’t bother.

I’m not going to beg for thread. I’m not too much to handle. I’m pretty fucking amazing.