Have y’all heard of the New York Times article that talks about the 36 Questions to ask someone if you want to foster a deep connection…or some say, love? (http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html?_r=0) I did that with JT. For the last month he has spent almost every evening over at my house. We live 1.5 blocks away from each other so he stops by. Normally, I don’t like a man to see me in my house clothes, meet my friends, or know what my house looks like early on. JT quickly broke through every one of those. It’s not that he’s particularly charming. He’s awkward actually. My best friend tells me I don’t give him enough credit. I can admit to that. I always lead with reasons why I shouldn’t like him: he’s in seminary, he has no filter, he is completely black and white, he doesn’t take good care of his health, he is quick to debate, and he limits physical affection to about 1 minute of kissing at a time.
To JT’s credit, he is game to do things like answer the 36 Questions. So after dinner at a restaurant right up the road, he drove me out to a little lake. He backed his truck up to a good overlooking spot. He hops out of the truck, tells me to wait, comes over to my side. He leans across me, making it even more annoying that I have only 60 seconds at a time to kiss him, grabs his headphones, tells me to stick them in and look forward. I spent the next 3 songs listening to a few romantic Grey Reverend songs. After being sufficiently serenaded, JT leads me to the bed of his truck where he has set up blankets, wine, his guitar, and has little tea lights lining the shelf of the truck bed liner. To say I felt romanced is an understatement. We spent several hours talking. Some things, I still kinda hate. Why does he think travel for pleasure…and kissing for pleasure…is selfish? I wish he wouldn’t use humor as self defense. I want him to admire how I look and comment on it.
But at the same time, he is quick to apologize. He picks up on what I like: my back rubbed casually when we sit next to each other and wine (even though he hates it, he always brings it). He never teases me for how much I like fashion or how many pictures of my dog.
He’s a good man and he tries. So maybe that is all the credit that he needs in my mind for now.